Larry the leopard writes……
Unbelievable! Just unbelievable! Today, Mr Stanley managed to plunge new depths of idiocy. Let me tell you how things unfolded.
The day started badly. Jasmine and I have been locked away in Mrs Green’s rucksack since Wednesday – I blame Mr Stanley for this as Mrs Green would never do something like that deliberately. However, Mr Stanley fails to recognise that leopards and rabbits have excellent hearing and know what he’s getting up to. He muttered something about CM Sports having the day off and then he and Mrs Green went off to get some breakfast. They didn’t offer us any – rude!
Mrs Green and Mr Stanley drove down to Katunguru where Mrs Green was interviewing somebody for her research. Mr Stanley didn’t do anything as far as I could see. He said something about catching up with blogging as he was already behind. My views on this are quiet clear: if he spent more time writing, and less time drinking beer and offending the locals with his pathetic attempts at their language, then he would be up to speed.
Anyway, the humans had soon finished at Katunguru and then drove up to New Life where exactly the same thing happened. Mrs Green worked hard and Mr Stanley tapped a few keys on a keyboard.
Next, they got in the car and went to see the District Education Officer, a man called Stephen Biru. The meeting didn’t last very long and (fortunately) Mr Stanley didn’t speak very much at all. It was Mrs Green and Stephen Biru talking about universities. At this point, Mr Stanley hadn’t managed to get himself into trouble, but this was about to change! All the humans got into the car and drove down the road to a sportsground where there was a big tournament going on – it turns out it was the Rubirizi Primary School Championships. Mrs Green and Mr Stanley got out of the car with Stephen Biru and started wandering down the touchline. Suddenly, Robert, the sports officer who Mr Stanley and Mrs Green had met at the first day of the Conservation Cup, appeared and beckoned them all to the VIP area under a gazebo. There were commentators who announced that the district education officer and his muzungu friends had arrived. Mr Stanley looked very smug while Mrs Green just looked confused.
It got worse! It was the U14 final of the football competition and there was a presentation party brought out to meet the teams, shake their hands and to stand for the national anthem. To my utter disbelief Mr Stanley and Mrs Green were part of it. I can understand Mrs Green being invited – she is a class act after all, but Mr Stanley? I looked over to Jasmine – she was speechless!
The game started between the two schools, Good Hope and Kyambura. Readers of this blog with good memories will remember this was the game in which a bad injury occurred in the Conservation Cup, but the children were younger and only the Good Hope team had boots on, so understandably the Kyambura children weren’t flying into tackles.
There were two Ugandans commentating over a PA system with background crowd noise being played in the background. They both seemed to be very animated and making a lot of gestures, but they were getting the crowd going. Then Mr Stanley had to go and ruin it all! He appeared out of nowhere, took the microphone off one of the Ugandans and began commentating himself. This was perhaps the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen Mr Stanley do in all the time I’ve known him and there’s a pretty long list of things to choose from! The other commentator looked totally bemused which is mild to how Jasmine and I felt – She was speechless!
While Mr Stanley prattled on about anything and everything, the other commentator tried to get in on the act. First of all, he described Mr Stanley as Japanese. I fell about laughing! Mr Stanley was forced to deny this. Next, he said that Mr Stanley was Polish. There was more substance to this claim as at least Mr Stanley was blond before he went grey! Mr Stanley told the other commentator that he was British, and from that point forwards the other commentator kept calling him BBC Africa, which would be hilarious if only Mr Stanley had a millionth of the standards that the BBC requires. I won’t tell you about his attempts to dance when Good Hope scored a goal. Poor Mrs Green could only sit in the gazebo looking embarrassed!
When the game was over, Mr Stanley and Mrs Green got back in the car and drove back to Mweya, quite quickly as it happens. I raised a paw in salute to the Ugandan workmen filling the potholes in the road down to Katunguru while Mr Stanley open the car window and shouted out some patronising words of encouragement. By now I was seriously considering completely disowning Mr Stanley, but Jasmine and I decided to get back in our rucksack. Beware readers, I’m handing you back to Mr Stanley…
We were back om Mweya for by 6.30pm for the first time all week, but we didn’t head straight home. I had to arrange a meeting with Safari Ben, the ranger who drives the boats on the Kazinga Channel cruise. Ben is also a member of the management committee of the children’s nursery on Mweya, which QEPP have supported in the past. Ben wasn’t on the boat, but I managed to get his phone number and arrange a meeting at Tembo at 8.00pm. We drove back to Hippo House where we arrived just before Nick, Ash and Katie F. Katie didn’t look very well while Nick and Ash resembled lobsters. Apparently, they had spent most of the day around the pool at the Safari Lodge as they had a day off before they travelled back to Entebbe.
We reconvened at Tembo (apart from Katie F) and were also joined by Stu McIntosh and his family, who were moving on to Mweya and were going to move into Hippo House when the others left. I met with Safari Ben and passed on some resources to him while Mrs Green needed to ask him some questions about how the nursery was running. Katie M had also made some teaching resources for the nursery which were very gratefully received. I had always assumed that Safari Ben was a nickname, but it turns out that Ben was due to be born in a hospital, but the car taking his mother there didn’t make it in time. Therefore, he was born on the roadside. The man who delivered him told his mother that he should be named Journey (safari is Swahili for journey) because he was born on a journey. Therefore, his name is Benedict Safari!
It turned out to be a late night at Tembo as it was the first night of the Premier League. Nick and Ash wanted to watch the Man Utd vs Leicester game; many Ugandans had turned up to watch the game also.
Tomorrow, the others return to Entebbe while Mrs Green and I are going to lunch with Stephen Biru.
Finally some answers to questions:
Mrs Prior, football is the most popular game played by children inside and outside of school, but we have also seen children playing with a hoop and a stick. Most of the children are too busy helping their parents to be playing games in the house.
Mr Burford, this year was the first year that I have seen posters for Ugandan films. There is a small but thriving film industry. Please see the link below….